Fix a man's computer, and he'll come back to you for a lifetime. Teach a man how to fix his computer, and he'll remember it for a day.

• I've turned down several activities today because I said I was, "Competing in a marathon." Haven't mentioned it's The Simpsons one on FXX.
• What if we enjoy watching people get kicked in the nuts and find it funny because it can eliminate evolutionary competitors from having kids.
• If you eat chilled meat and beans with jalapeños in Santiago during winter, than you're eating chilly chili in Chile with chilies when it's chilly.
• If you think nobody in the world cares about you, try missing a payment.
• The greatest distance in the Universe is the one between how people think they look in a Hummer limo, and how they actually look.
• the New York Times: sure Wilson killed a guy, but Brown listened to rap music
• Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn't working.
• Congrats to "Monster Mash" on winning the VMA for "Best Halloween Song" for the 52nd consecutive year