So if Wile E Coyote could afford all that Acme crap, couldn't he have just bought dinner?

• The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."  The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
• I'd like to age like a fine cheese: by surrounding myself with bread
• Isn't it creepy how you feel your hip vibrate even when there's no phone in your pocket?? Addendum: my pockets are always full of eels.
• Dear jogger on dark, busy road, in headphones & black bodysuit with no reflectors: I get it. I don't want to know when death comes, either.
• To give you a sense of my style: I just Googled "how to look normal at a wedding"
• In movies & TV when they wake up & it was all just a dream, it is like yo that was one cohesive dream, very clear narrative arc 2 yr dream.
• "Here, have some horrible relationship advice." -- pop music
• ISIS captured tons of US vehicles, artillery, body armor and weapons and is now using them. We did make a difference in Iraq!
• "Listen, we're trying to cure your cancer asbestos we can." -funny doctor