Are you easily surprised? The answer may surprise you.

• Bikini car washes send girls a bad message. Women can do ANYTHING! Why not bikini legal aid, bikini family law, bikini grief counseling. 
• Naming my kids Up and Adam so I have a reason to say that in the mornings. 
• I don't like the idea of kids riding roller coaster because then they'll want to ride water slides. It's a slippery slope. 
• Kid, I’ve been making horrible sports puns since before you were Bjorn 
• In fantasy stories the "chosen one" struggles to sacrifice normal things like love and other passions. That wouldn't be a problem for me. 
• True love means never having to explain your Star Wars references 
• It really upsets me that in the middle of California's worst drought in centuries, I still see people here drinking water. 
• Hey I don't know if you can tell because of my ponytail, but I own several non-mammalian pets. 
• I mostly agree with people so they'll stop talking. 
• I'm trying to give up drinking whiskey as my liver is unhealthy. Does anyone know of any decent diet whiskey?