If you aren't born a gamer, you can become one after being bitten by the gamer spider (a white recluse)

Receipts are money ghosts

I wonder how many people on Facebook would pass the Turing test.

Just got off the phone with mom. Learned 5 new ways a person can die.

• Your constant babbling about how perfect your boyfriend is tells me otherwise.

When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, "No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."